16 - Jun 08 2017 - Reblog

Anonymous said:

How does a narcissist/sociopath feel when you are ignoring them? I've come to terms recently that I was indeed with someone who was borderline a sociopath/narcissist, and they moved on so quickly to someone else.

the-courage-to-heal:

I’m sorry to hear that you were unlucky enough to find yourself in a relationship with one of these abusers, but I’m glad that you were able to realize the truth. I think the way a narcissist or psychopathic individual will respond to being ignored largely depends on whether or not the relationship ended on their terms.

Narcissists and psychopaths will idealize their partner at the beginning of a relationship during this time period they can be very intense and even obsessive. If the target ends things during the height of idealization this would be a great wound to the narcissist or psychopaths ego. In situations like this narcissistic and psychopathic abusers will often stalk their partners or bombard them with undesired attempts at reconciliation. This can be misconstrued as deep unrequited love, but in reality it’s them trying to prove they’re good enough to get you back. It’s ultimately about their ego not true affection.

There is also another scenario that can commonly play out in these types of relationships. Psychopathic and narcissistic individuals hold their partner to idealized and unrealistic standards at the beginning of their relationships. When the victim inevitably fails to live up to these fantasies of perfection, they are swiftly knocked off the pedestal they were placed on. This is called devaluation. Narcissistic and psychopathic personalities may begin to engage in more overt abuse at this point in the relationship, and will often drive their partners away with such poor treatment. Many victims will stay with their abuser in the vain hope that the brief honeymoon phase they experienced will return, but they are subjected to escalating abuse. Often when the victim finds the strength to leave they find they are swiftly replaced with someone else. This can be heartbreaking to deal with.

Narcissists simply need someone to inflate their ego. They are an addict in constant need of a “fix.” Their drug of choice is constant and unwavering attention. This is called “narcissistic supply.” The average person may enjoy attention or validation but the narcissist actually needs it in order to maintain his delusions of superiority. Significant others can be swapped in and out whenever necessary. The only really important thing is that they have a steady stream of attention. Psychopaths have a more fixed identity that isn’t as nearly dependent on others, but they are also capable of moving on with what can be devastating swiftness. The largely view relationships as a mean to an end and if they feel you have lost your usefulness they will often dump you and move on without a second thought.

At the end of the day you’re lucky to have gotten away from this person. He will repeat this cycle in all of his future relationships, but you can move forward and build something real. Remember, education is one of the greatest tools to prevent re-victimization. I hope this helps a little, if you have any other questions please feel feee to write in any time!

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